Fashion Tips
Tip #1: Crocs Are Awful. When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship. They come in every color imaginable yet look bad with every other article of clothing ever created. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism.
Tip #2: You probably don’t actually look good in red lipstick. Red lipstick looks horrible on most women, and all men. There are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those people usually juggle for a living.
Tip #3: Unless you have a beard and led a coup in 1959 to establish a Marxist Socialist state in Cuba, you should not be wearing a Fidel Castro hat. Fidel Castro hats were meant to be worn by Fidel Castro, not hipsters trying to look Ironic. It wouldn’t even be so bad if you were Cuban, but you’re not.
The inspiration behind these tips are courtesy of Maddox, my life’s semi-sole inspiration.
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